RAVANA

This pen and ink illustration was inspired by a very ugly incident with an acquaintance which got me thinking on the dual and multi personalities we maintain with ourselves and in front of the world.

I believe that in our own right we are all 'schizophernic' and have multi-personalities. Psychiatrists and Psychologists may give it fancy terms and terminologies but we deny ourselves this truth - this is with no offence to anybody, this is what I believe. We are all senile in that the line between sanity and insanity is very slim.

We behave differently with different people be it our friends, our colleagues, our neighbours, our relatives, our siblings; we behave differently in different situations be it a rock concert, a class seminar, a family wedding, a religious ritual, a funeral; we behave differently with our pets and with street animals. We alternate egos and personalities to suit ourselves and others.

The question "Who am I?" is often pondered on... I wonder how many of us actually get into the "What am I?" I have spent many hours in my hospital bed pondering this question. I am so many roles in one, I am my parents' child, I am my sisters' and brothers' sister, I am my nieces' aunt, I am my uncles' and aunts' niece, I am my students' teacher, I am my doctors' patient, I am my friends' friend, I am a woman, I am an artist, I am an educationist, I am a Bengali, I am a Malaysian, I am a realist, I am apolitical, I am a free thinker, I am ..... and the list goes on.

I am so many persons in one, so many egos in one, so many personalities in one... I cannot for the life of me specify what I am.

I am what I am. The question ends where it began.

I based this painting on a combination of the Indian rooted Malaysian Puppetry known as 'Wayang Kulit' or Shadow Puppet Play performed by a 'Tok Dalang' or Puppet Master accompanied by his assistants and an orchestra playing local traditional instruments. Stories of the Wayang Kulit originated and emerged from the great epics of Ramayana and Mahabharata.

These Shadow Puppet plays were a form of entertainment before the advent of television and cinema in the villages and towns of Malaysia. Nowadays one is privileged to actually catch a Wayang Kulit Show. The art of making the puppets is a dying culture as is the rarity of a Tok Dalang and the accompanying musical troop. The stories of the Ramayana and Mahabharata have been replaced by stories of local historical figures like Hank Jebat and Hang Tuah.

I have used the character of Ravan for he is the perfect man and the perfect villain. Instead of illustrating a Wayang Kulit Puppet, I have chosen to make Ravan a dual masked personality representing the alter ego. I have tried my best to be true to the Wayang Kulit traditional representation through the experimentation of line and colour.

This is a three panel artwork done on handmade paper using pen, ink and coloured pencil.